10 (legal and fairly nondestructive) things to do when the world is mean and unfair

1. have a cup of tea. just regular tea with lots of milk.
2. eat only comfort foods. i'm not advocating overeating here, but there are certain foods that satisfy more when one is blue. i'm thinking mac & cheese, soup & grilled cheese sandwiches, mashed potatoes. "soft" food is best because it requires minimal chewing effort; you must conserve energy because most is being spent being blue. childhood favorites are excellent choices, Oreo cookies, Campbell's soup, tuna melts. forget about low-carb for the moment. carbs are now your friend.
3. call your best friend(s). spend hours on the phone as your friend empathizes and reminds you how great you are even though you know it's not true.
4. reread your favorite novel. those with characters whose lives are even more pathetic than your own are good choices.
5. immerse yourself in your favorite hobby (assuming of course this is a legal activity or does not involve getting completely shitfaced at the local bar). mine is reading old cookbooks, which also is very useful for finding ideas for #2. chances are you won't come across the recipe for the hot crab dip with ketchup smeared all over the top that your grandmother used to make in Gourmet magazine.
6. rent a movie, but choose one you've already seen. surprise endings are not your friend. outlandish comedies are good choices (think Chevy Chase), as are the classic tearjerkers should you need inspiration to get the wells going. in the past when going through man issues, i used to always reach for Helen Mirren in the "Prime Suspect" series.
7. write a letter to someone who has really pissed you off and you haven't forgiven. could be old boss, bad boy/girlfriend, 10th grade math teacher. tell them precisely what you think of them, and then destroy the letter, possibly using technique in #8.
8. the "burn and flush". a very good friend of mine taught me this cathartic technique years ago. in keeping with the "fairly nondestructive" theme, burn and flush does not work with highly flammable or explosive materials. collect various photographs, printouts of e-mails, letters, ticket stubs (you get the idea) directly or symbolically linked to the offending person or event that has sent you into this abyss; stand over the toilet armed with a cigarette lighter or a box of matches; set fire to the first object and when fully ablaze, drop into the toilet; flush; repeat.
9. avoid well-meaning people who try to lift your spirits but always manage to say the wrong thing, god bless 'em. same goes for the "inspirational" self-help books, videos, magazines, etc. these will just tell you to "foster gratitude" and remind you that adversity builds character. they may be useful later, but at this stage of the game, we know they're all bullshit. cynical, bitter---that's what we're going for.
10. except for when doing #1 through 9, stay in bed or set up camp on a comfy couch. wear your pajamas all day. if you have dogs, call a trusted friend to walk them for you. the outdoors should be off limits for the timebeing, at least until you muster enough energy to take a shower.

well that's my weekend sorted.

hasta pronto,

mylifeinspain

rainy friday

Well my wallow-in-self-pity party was to have ended today, but I am feeling less up to snuff this morning than I did yesterday. Perhaps it's the rain...perhaps it's because I know there will be no IM'd "good morning" from Big Jim. He's handling everything much better than I, which is good because my depression is enough for one family. I will snap out of it soon enough, but at this moment I feel as though the world has played a very cruel joke on us. I need to feel what I feel and then move on and buck up. I think it's been easier for Big Jim to put into perspective because he's been there and seen the chaos first hand, been able to talk to coworkers about the problems. He also had a very enlightening exit interview, the contents of which I can't go into here for confidentiality reasons, but suffice to say, it was positive. Big Jim says he's learned a lot from the experience and is enthusiastically ready to move on. In my heart I know that if Big Jim had stayed in that position long term it would have been detrimental to his sanity and overall health and that it was not a good place for him (or few others frankly). I realize we are fortunate he had not signed a lease on an apartment; had he done so, we would be in a far worse situation. In the end, we have a bit more money in the bank than before, and Big Jim has more good experience on his CV. I will eventually get to the point when I can look back at this as not just another disappointment in the sea of disappointments that has been our past few years. Big Jim is spending the next few days packing and moving some things to storage with our friend G.---a microwave, a heater, some clothes, the wine he's been making. He'll then be a tourist for a couple days in Amsterdam before he comes back Thursday morning. He's already applied for more than 80 jobs and has contacted his old agent friend G.R. I plan to have a quiet weekend here. NaNoWriMo begins Monday, so I want to work on some outlines and storylines that have been running through my head. Given my current mood, I wouldn't want to be someone who has crossed me recently because some incarnation of that may end up in the novel in a most unflattering light. Yes, I think my efforts this year will have a decidedly darker theme. I've been encouraging Big Jim to participate in NaNoWriMo, and I think now that he'll have more time available, he may actually do it. Well, it's becoming increasingly more difficult to type. Mr. Beebs is sleeping across my lap, and now C.K. has made herself comfortable between my arms, in front of the computer, such that I can only see the tips of my fingers, the rest of the keyboard obscured by her gray and black stripes. Have a nice weekend. hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

easy come, easy go

Well, not really "east come", but definitely easy go. Big Jim found out this morning his work contract is not being renewed past the end of this week, so it's back to the old job hunt starting Monday. Truth be known, although he was happy to be working again, he was unhappy with the company....staffing shortages, major inefficiencies, a nonexistent boss. We're now hoping that a better position comes along, sooner rather than later. Trying to be optimists, but damn. :-( Back to work, especially because come next week, I'm the sole wage earner again. hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

my spain travel wishlist

Here's a list of 10 places I've never been to in Spain and would very much like to visit.

1. The Prado: Can you believe I've never been to this great museum?!! Crazy, crazy, which is why it gets top billing.
2. Madrid, the city: Never been there either "properly", just through the airport several times.
3. Barcelona: Never been there either, not even to the airport. So sad.
4. The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao.
5. Ronda: One of the original white "villages", though I've never been.
6. Salamanca: a World Heritage site, and one of the centers of learning in the middle ages.
7. Santiago de Compostela: capital of Galicia, would love one year to make the pilgrimage.
8. Asturias: Known for its green landscapes and national parks
9. Granada: Been to the Alhambra several times, but never seen much of the city.
10. Corumbela: The little village that sits on a ridge in the valley across from our village. I've stared at it almost every night for three years, but have never been.

mylifeinspain

more persimmons

Monday already? Most of Sunday was spent in the dark here...no electricity in the village for most of yesterday, and there wasn't a rain cloud in sight, so who knows what caused the outage. I knew the lights were going to be out for awhile when I passed the hotel and saw the owner had parked a generator in the middle of the tennis court. Here's the persimmon cookie recipe. Please note the original source is Just Fruit Recipes. 1 c Persimmon pulp 2 c Flour 1 c Sugar 1 c Butter 1 tsp. Baking soda 1 Egg 1/2 tsp. Cinnamon 1/2 tsp. Clove 1/2 tsp. Nutmeg Cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg and pulp. Add the dry ingredients. Place on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes. Very tasty, indeed. Just make sure the persimmons are ripe! Was on the roof terrace picking peppers Saturday when Almendena came out to hang some laundry. This woman misses nothing! She said to me, "Your new computer is very pretty" (except in Spanish). Now, I haven't told her anything about the new laptop. She must have seen it from her kitchen window, which sort of looks into our office but not directly. She would have had to lean out the window slightly to see it. I would not put this past her. She's a funny lady but very kind. She asked when Big Jim was coming to visit next, and I told her next weekend. Almendena repeated, "Well if you ever need anything, just come knock on the door." And she meant it. Must get to work...am having M.A. and her friend I. over for dinner tonight. Have a beef stew in the slow cooker, so most of the food prep is done. Have a work deadline to finish first.... happy monday! hasta luego, mylifeinspain

tgif

I'm learning that sometimes life makes decisions for you. I have been talking about dropping an editing client to free up more of my time for writing now that Big Jim is back working. Well, yesterday I received an e-mail from one of my editors informing me that the society that owns one of the journals I edit has not renewed their contract because they received a better (ie, cheaper) offer from another company that outsources their work. Outsource, god how I am beginning to truly despise that word. I am disappointed by the news because I really enjoyed working on this project and was not considering dropping this client. My editor is trying to find me another journal to work on; I hope he does because I like working with him and his team very much. They are true professionals, which is becoming more rare these days. Unfortunately, little value seems to be put on professionalism anymore. Ho hum. Last night I didn't make the persimmon cookies after all....realized too late I needed to thaw some butter from the freezer first, so it's on the agenda for this evening. Instead, I transplanted some marigolds into the window boxes and added some mums that I bought at the market last Saturday. I figured the mums would make the house look more like the autumn I'm accustomed to. Every fall I used to have some in my apartment in Philadelphia and was happy to find two here, one gold and the other a peachy orange. If the cookies turn out well, I'll post the recipe on the blog tomorrow. :-) Had to abort my trip to the coast this morning....I flooded the engine trying to turn around on the hill behind the house. It's no easy feat....the "hill" has a pitch similar to a San Francisco street and much skill is required with the clutch and handbreak to turn the damn thing around. Will try again later this afternoon. The car is on thin ice with me again, just when I thought we were working out our issues. Another weekend is upon us, and I never updated on the events of last weekend. Had a wonderful night and meal with L. on Saturday, and Sunday M.A. had brunch in honor of her friend I., who is visiting from Norway. M.A.'s having another do tomorrow evening for I., which I plan to attend for little while. I'm having the two of them over for dinner Monday, and L. Tuesday, so I have a lot of cooking and cleaning to do this weekend. Big Jim is off to Arnhem for the weekend to visit with our friend G., whose girlfriend has just returned from Thailand. I miss the Big Jim very much, but am counting down to his next visit in two weeks. :-) Happy weekend, everyone! hasta manana, mylifeinspain

peppers and persimmons/more expat voting info

Well, the forecasters were wrong, and we haven't had three days of rain. We did have one, followed by two days of undecided weather. Yesterday afternoon, there was a tremendous blast of wind, enough to make all the neighbors, including me, pop their heads out windows to see a scary-looking storm cloud sitting behind the village. But five minutes later, it was gone, and the sun soon returned. In the morning, I filled a basket of chili peppers to take to our friend C., who besides being a good friend is also a great cook. As I left to take the peppers to C., Antonio was sitting outside his house, cracking almonds. I asked him if he liked chili peppers. He responded, "Me encanta los pimientos picantes." So I picked out a few of all the different types. He explained to me that he uses the long, skinny ones (sorry, don't know their name....they are about 3/4 inch wide and 8 to 10 inches long) when he makes sausage. Antonio then popped into the house and returned with a bag for me. It was filled with an orange fruit whose skin had the same texture as a tomato. He told me this was caqui, a very sweet fruit. I had seen caqui before at the market but couldn't remember the word for it in English (this is happening to me more and more). When I returned to the house, a quick scan of the dictionary told me that caqui was the word for khaki. Sometimes the English/Spanish dictionaries are of little help. Got on the Internet, where I found my answer---persimmon! There is a particular species of persimmon named kaki, which I suppose is how the Spanish word was derived. I also read that they taste horribly unless fully ripe. I checked a couple from the bag, and they were supersoft, like an overripe tomato. My Internet search also found a bunch of recipes, including one for persimmon cookies, which I'm going to try out this evening. Antonio gave me at least a dozen, which I'd never be able to eat myself, so cookies seem like a good idea. And then, of course, if they turn out half decent, I can give a bunch back to Antonio and Iluminada, and the cycle continues. :-) According to yesterday's International Herald Tribune, starting today, civilians can use the emergency write-in ballot available on the FVAP web site (www.fvap.gov). In the past, use of this ballot was restricted to military and their families. But because of the myriad problems and many states not sending out absentee ballots in time, the FVAP has lifted this restriction. The ballot can be downloaded and either mailed or faxed back. Check out the FVAP site for more information, as well as for state-specific voting news. Another good source is the Democrats Abroad site and www.OverseasVote2004.com. As an aside, I saw a poll yesterday on an expat web site. The question was "would a second Bush term be good news for expats?" Eighty percent had responded, "No". hasta manana, mylifeinspain

green pumpkins

The pups (and the kitty) and I are settling in for three days of rain. Three days of rain would not affect the comings and goings of people in most places. In Philadelphia, when I left for work I would simply wear a raincoat and take my umbrella (assuming I hadn't lost it the last time it rained...) and be sure to walk as far away from the curb as possible, to avoid being splashed by rushing cars hitting potholes filled deep with the night's rainfall. But this village isn't like most places. :-) First, so much of the economy is still based on the outdoors. The old farmers will not go to their fields today, nor will the construction workers build much of anything. The tables and chairs at the cafes will remain stacked under the awnings. Second, driving becomes a serious hazard. Because of the village's elevation, clouds often cozy up against the church tower, and the town seems to disappear, as though one had wiped the Etch-a-Sketch clean. So, no visibility, and on the tricky mountain roads, few people care to take their chances at guessing when the next twisty curve will pop up. There are also plenty of surprises for the ambitious driver to anticipate, namely, landslides and bits where the road actually washes away. Most decide to wait for the rains to end and the Guardia to clear the piles of wet earth and rocky debris before venturing out on the road. Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the folks who live along dirt tracks in campo...depending on the conditions of their road and their access to a Land Rover, they may be stranded at home for a week or more. When Big Jim first moved to the villa just outside of the village, he and the moving truck were stuck for almost three days. Rainy days here are like snow storms back on the East Coast, except no one rushes out to buy up all the milk and bread. If people can, they stay indoors and wait for the power to go out. When the first rain fell last night, it took but thirty seconds before the electricity was off in the village...bad timing too because everyone had just sat down for dinner. But we all have plenty of candles, and soon homes were bathed in their romantic glow. We read, play board games and cards, sleep more....it's just the way. Sort of like the green pumpkins. Our first winter here, Big Jim bought a slice of pumpkin to make soup and a curry. He saved the seeds and planted them in the spring. To my astonishment, they grew. I've since learned that anything will grow here if it gets enough water. However, I was also very surprised to find out the pumpkins here are dark green, not the brilliant orange I was used to in the US. They are pumpkins, I assure you. The guts are still orange, and I've used them to make pie. I had the same experience when I cut open my first cantaloupe here and also found its flesh to be green, pale like a honeydew, but unmistakeningly the taste and texture of a cantaloupe. I'm sure there is some scientific reason for the differences; I just don't know what it is. So I must now put on the raincoast and coax the dogs outside for a walk. Then I must get to work before the power goes out again and my laptop's battery power drains. I look forward to this change of season. Five months of nothing but sunshine can get a little boring. :-) hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

being a woman.../happy anniversary!

I think I first truly felt like a woman when I began to be able to find misplaced items for men. I believe I was 23 and the lost thing was a packet of guitar strings. Over the years, I have developed this skill, so much so that Big Jim actually called me from Holland Saturday morning to assist in finding his glasses. My first bit of advice was that he put on his sunglasses, which have prescriptive lenses, so that he could at least see properly. He called back five minutes later....couldn't find the sunglasses either, was convinced he had left them here on his visit. I told him, no I didn't think so. I remember them being on his "important" pile, along with his passport, and told him to look in the pockets of his leather coat, which he wore to the airport because there was no room for it in his suitcase. I also advised that he think again where he had last worn them....the night before,while reading, but he remembered taking them off because his eyes were tired. Simple, they had to be near to where he had been reading. Off he went to search again. Five minutes later, the phone rang again. Success! They were right by the reading lamp all along. Have a busy day today, deadline looming, so will have to be short and sweet. Quick shoutout to the parents, who celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary yesterday. Three kids, two dogs, one incontinent cat, many richers and poorers and sicknesses and healths, and they're still together. Sorry Big Jim and I missed the party, but we'll make up for it in December. :-) Rest of the weekend recap manana.... hasta luego, mylifeinspain

happy friday/potaje de garbanzo

It feels as though fall has properly arrived this week....I have been wearing turtlenecks and jeans all week, and yes, I may even break out the socks this weekend. :-) I actually had to wear a jacket when I walked the pups last evening....very, very windy, and the air was blowing down from mountain, so there definitely was a chill in the air. It has been a very good week. I got a lot of work done, despite my fairly lazy Monday. I credit the new computer...it is superfast! I accomplished many things: sent my completed absentee ballot back to Pennsylvania, paid the phone bill (early! ...had to because the banks are now restricting the hours when people can pay bills: Tuesday--Thursday, from 8:30 to 10:30 am), did some writing research (NaNoWriMo [National Novel Writing Month...if you are interested in writing at all check out their web site www.nanowrimo.org] begins in 16 days!), almost got caught up on my e-mails, shopped online for yarn and new knitting patterns, etc. Plan to have a quiet weekend. L. has invited me to dinner at her place for Saturday; Sunday evening I plan to be listening to the football games and finishing a sweater I knitted last year. I love to knit, but I'm not a fan of putting the pieces together. It's not difficult, and I know this sweater will take but a couple hours to complete; yet the pile of knitted sleeves and front and back pieces have sat in the bottom of my wardrobe for eight months. Silly me. Also plan to make my first batch of hot soup this season today for lunch. I have been experimenting for the past few weeks having my main meal at lunchtime, like the Spanish. So far, it's worked really well, and I think I may stick to it. First, I find myself much more willing to do complicated cooking at 1:00 than at 9:00 pm, after a long day of work. Second, I think it's just more common sensical and healthy to eat more in the middle of the day rather than in the evening. This way, if I am still hungry in the evening, I can just have a sandwich or salad or some scrambled eggs, which I can throw together in no time at all with minimal effort. Today's soup will be potaje de garbanzo, and I have included my recipe here. I confess I was not really a bean eater until I spent five months living in Seville during college. Pastora, the woman who provided my room and board, made the simplest but most delicious garbanzo and rice soup, and I have been hooked ever since. Like many comfort foods, there are thousands of recipes for this dish, and frankly my own varies based on the current contents of the vegetable bin. You can add/eliminate ingredients to accommodate your eating preferences or habits. I tend to make my soups more stewlike, but you can always add more stock or water. This is the beauty of soupmaking....there are very few rules and you can almost always change them! 2 cans/jars garbanzo beans/chickpeas (you can also use the dried kind, just be sure to soak them overnight in water with a little salt) 1 onion, chopped 4 cloves of garlic, chopped finely couple strips of bacon, cut in thin slices olive oil 3 carrots, diced 2 potatoes, diced fresh (or frozen, if you can't buy fresh) chopped spinach or swiss chard salt, pepper, and dried rosemary, to taste 2 cups chicken stock/broth (you can also use a vegetable stock/broth) 2 cups water Add several tablespoons of olive oil to a soup pot. Saute garlic and onion until soft (don't let the garlic burn!), and then add the bacon. After five minutes, add the carrots and potatoes, stirring occasionally. After another five minutes, add remaining ingredients, except the spinach or chard. Simmer for 35 minutes. Add the spinach/chard, and simmer for another five minutes (little longer if using frozen). Serve in bowls, drizzle a little olive oil on top. Be sure to have a fresh baguette on hand for dunking. Enjoy! hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

yay!

Gabriela just came by with the post, including my official PA absentee ballot....no need to drive all the way to Fuengirola to beg the consulate workers for an emergency write-in ballot. Yay, I'm so happy and relieved and a bit weepy (I always tear up when I vote....I also tear up watching every "Little House on the Prairie" episode; Michael Landon was great when one needed a good cry.). Will fill it out later today and make sure it's back in the mail tomorrow. Kerry and Edwards are listed first on the ballot....I think that's a good omen. :-) mylifeinspain

happy birthday, kath!/voting update

Yes, really another birthday, and I actually I missed two more in the blog over the weekend: it was my brother's girlfriend's birthday Saturday and R.'s (from Norway) birthday Sunday. Lots of people getting busy in those northern climes in January it seems...must have been quite a blizzard. :-) Today is my sister's birthday, so Big Jim and I send happy greetings from Amsterdam and sunny Spain. Your birthday bundle is in the mail as well. :-) The village has been celebrating Spain's national holiday for the past two days, so today the kiddies are back to school and the dogs can enjoy their walks without having a nervous breakdown. I try to time them when I think there won't be any rockets launched, but this is very difficult to do, and I'm usually wrong more than I'm right. I am getting anxious myself because I still have not received my absentee ballot. I sent my original request more than six weeks ago, and I now have sent e-mails for the emergency federal write-in ballot so that I can at least vote for president, senate, and congress. If one of these ballots doesn't arrive in a couple days, I'm going to have to make a nuisance of myself on the telephone and call the voting office and consulate. My friend L. has decided to actually travel back to New York to vote in person. I understand how she feels: there is no way I'm not going to vote in this election! If need be, I will drive two hours to the nearest consulate and demand a ballot in person. I'm usually a reasonably calm and rational person, but I'm more than fed up with the myriad overseas voting problems this election. Will keep you posted.... hasta manana, mylifeinspain

sitting around the international table

I am so full of amazing food, I may not have to eat again until later this week. Well, not really, but I had the good fortune of being invited to not one but two delicious meals yesterday. :-) The first I mentioned in the previous entry. M.A., her pal J.R., and I had lunch with J. and M., courtesy of the Dutch tourists who abandoned their holiday because they were afraid to drive down a dirt road. M. prepared a wonderful meal: cold avocado soup that was so rich it had the consistency almost of a mousse, chicken in a sauce of the local wine and olives, and coconut balls, which we dipped in bowls of pureed watermelon for dessert...all washed down with various Spanish wines. The weather yesterday was brilliantly sunny with just the slightest breeze and provided the perfect setting for an al fresco afternoon on the terrace. Although I would have been completely content to lounge there until early evening, I said my good-byes at 5 or so because I needed to go home and rest up for my next gastronomic appointment. R. and I. come from Norway to their vacation house in the village at least twice every year, each time spending several weeks catching up with their friends here. I. and M.A. have been friends for more than 20 years, and this is how have I come to know them as well. I. is actually Danish but has lived in Norway with R. for many years. They are lovely, interesting people, and I always look forward to their visits. Their house here has become one of my favorite in the village. It is a traditional townhouse that has been modernized, but the original rustic feel has been maintained. I told R. last night the house made me yearn for a fat book and a lazy rainy day, so that I could curl up on their sofa with a cup of tea in their candlelit lounge. I. also outdid himself in the kitchen and presented a fabulous Indian feast: a beautiful salad with homemade raita, chickpea marsala, chicken korma, saffron rice, and vanilla ice cream and fresh fruit in brandy for dessert. You see now, I was not kidding---my belly was stretched and most satisfied. Today I'm having only salad and some fruit for lunch. :-) As we chatted over dinner, we noted our party of six included people of five different nationalities. I have lamented at times in this blog of how I worry that this area is losing its Spanishness. However, at the same time I marvel at the advantages of living in a truly global village. There are people from close to thirty countries now living here, from all over Europe, South and North America, Africa, and the Middle and Far East. One walks down the winding streets and hears not just Spanish but also English, Arabic, Danish, German, Czech, Farsi from the open windows. And although I have been critical of the expats who do not learn Spanish, in all fairness, I have met very few people here who speak only one language. Most speak at least two, and many are fluent in several. My life has been enriched in many ways by being able to sit at a table, enjoy good food, while sharing varied experiences and backgrounds and viewpoints with people from all over the world, and my knowledge of cultures, history, language, geography has grown tremendously from our seemingly casual conversations. Perhaps the village is not as "Spanish" as it was fifteen years ago; however, the evolving internationality affords invaluable unique experiences and dialogue as well. And this too is a good thing. hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

free lunch/happy birthday, squirrel!

Very nice weekend with Big Jim, even if the poor guy spent most of it working. We found out sort of last minute that this would be the case, but we thought it best to go ahead with his visit. He looks really well, and it's wonderful to see him back in the work groove, managing complex projects, his brain spinning with new ideas. As I listened to him conducting conference calls with other PMs and programmers in Poland and Austria, I was in complete awe of his technical knowledge. Essentially they were doing a system upgrade to servers for a large ISP in Poland, and to minimize the disturbance to the customers, it had to be done quickly and at night. This was Big Jim's first big task at the new job, and a fairly high-profile one, so we were very happy when the upgrade was completed successfully Saturday evening. The pups were extremely happy to see Big Jim as well, although Mr. Beebs remained suspicious of him all weekend long, as if he knew BJ's return would only be a short one. Saturday afternoon we went shopping on the coast. Big Jim wanted to pick up a large tin of olive oil to take back to Amsterdam and some wine for one of his Spanish coworkers. The price of olive oil is more than double in Holland and not of the quality we have grown accustomed to. We also had a relaxing lunch at one of the seaside restaurants in Caleta. I had very good paella and scrambled eggs with ham, and Big Jim had salad and a mixed fish platter. We were both too full to have dessert, which was included in the 7.60 euro fixed price. J. and M. told us about this gem of a restaurant, and it quickly has become one of our favorites. We had a siesta after our shopping excursion, and then we were off again for dinner with M.A. and J. and M. It was a lovely night in the square, so we decided to eat outside. Good food, good wine, lively conversation.....a very merry evening had by all. Now to the story of my free lunch today. J. and M. offer Spanish cooking courses to guests staying in their B&B. They had a couple booked for one this week. The visitors were to arrive Saturday from Holland, but they never confirmed a meeting time with J. J. and M. waited for them most of Saturday afternoon, even though they needed to do shopping for the cooking course. Eventually, they left a note for the guests and went to the market. When they returned, there was still no sign of the tourists. As M. was unpacking the groceries, the phone rang. It was the woman booked for the cooking course. "We are most displeased..." she began. Turns out they had arrived while J. and M. were shopping....they took one look at the dirt road leading to J. and M.'s house, were scared out of their wits, and decided to just drive back to Holland, even though they had paid more than 700 euros for their stay, which was not refundable. As J. related the tale, we howled with laughter. Admittedly the track to J. and M.'s house is a bit steep, but any car can manage it, from our Peugeot to M.A.'s Ford Fiesta. To cancel a week-long holiday, after driving all the way from Holland, just because the road looked a little scary.....that's mad. However, J. and M. had already purchased all the food for the cooking course, so they decided to have a big lunch today. Because of tourists' silly behavior, M.A. and I will be having delicious seafood and very nice wine in a few hours while the Dutch people sit in their kitchen back in Holland, watching the rain. Well, I must get going. The dogs are restless for their morning walk. I miss Big Jim very much, although in a couple days, when I'm settled back into my normal routine, I know the pain will ease. The days will fly, and then next thing I'll know, it will be time to pick him up at the airport again. Speaking of time flying, today my "little" brother turns 30! Happy birthday, squirrel...the birthday bundle is in the mail. :-) hasta manana, mylifeinspain

tgif/happy birthday, claudia!

And what a happy Friday it is. Big Jim will be here, in this house, in 12 hours. Yay! Que locura will take place when he steps through the front door and little Mr. Beebs first sees him. And the precious Boo for that matter will be jumping in circles and wiggling her butt, her signature happy greeting. C.K. will most likely crawl out from the pantry, her latest hideout, give Big Jim a staccato "mew", sort of a "hey, what's up?", and then continue on to the kitchen in hope of having her food dish refilled. I'll keep the bucket and mop handy for Mr. Beebs, who tends to have a leaky bladder when tremendously excited. Can't wait. :-) The air this morning is decidedly fresh. I believe the fall has seriously arrived this time. Showers are forecast for tomorrow and next week; the temperature is going to be 10 degrees (F) cooler as well. I welcome the change....it's the 8th of October, and I'm still running around in capri pants and flipflops. It's time to pull out a sweater or two and put on some socks! The autumnal sunsets are some of my favorite here. I usually take the pups out for their evening walk in time to watch sun disappear over Corumbela. There is a bit of waste ground at the top of the street above our house that offers a particularly good view. The fall palette is muted pastels, rosy orange pinks and the softest blues. As late November and December approach, the tones become more bold, more fiery. People here still talk about one December sunset from two years ago, which Big Jim and I happened to miss because we were in the US at the time. I have seen many photos though, and it must have been spectacular to witness in person. The sky was red, I mean seriously red, all around, just absolutely on fire. I'm told everyone stopped what they were doing to come outside, on the terraces, to watch. Reason #2358 why I love living here. A quick happy birthday to my good friend Claudia! She's an old friend from college days, when tuitions were still less than $20,000 a year. It's been too long since I've seen her, 2 years! But Claud, only a couple months until my next visit, and then I can finally meet little Abby. :-) Hope everyone has a nice weekend....next post will be from my new laptop! hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

making peace with the peugeot

I have never made it a secret that I am not a fan of our car. Before I moved to Spain, I had not had a car for 10 years and frankly didn't miss it. When I needed to get anywhere, I rented a car, took public transport or a cab, or walked. Mostly I walked. And I was happy with the arrangement....no car payments, no insurance headaches, no worrying whether my car would be where I last left it, no parking tickets, no stolen stereos, no oil changes...I could go on. No, I was quite content with my virtually car-free life. When I rented a car, I waited with great anticipation to see what model I would get the keys to. I had all the standard economy cars, of course, but there were the occasional unexpected upgrades, like the brand new Ford Mustang, black; it was a beauty. There was also the one Christmas Eve when Budget ran out of cars. I waited along with several people ahead of me as the workers drove to the Budget lots at the airport and train station in search of recently returned vehicles. After an hour, the manager announced they had a car, but they wanted the first woman in line to have a look at it. The blue-haired lady shuffled to the parking lot with a sales rep and immediately returned and said, "no way". Wow I thought to myself, what could it be to elicit such a response. Next in line was a couple who were headed to North Carolina to celebrate the holiday with their daughter. (We had all gotten to chatting as we waited.) The husband now accompanied the sales rep to the parking lot, and he too returned shaking his head "no way". Hmmm, I was up....I followed Alan out to the lot, which was still empty of cars, and around to the back. There was an enormous bright cherry red pickup truck, a Ford F350 to be precise. No hesitation, "Sure, I'll take it." Yes, it would be a pain to park in the city and all 5'4'' of me had to make a bit of effort to haul myself into the front seat. But whoa Nelly I could see everything from up there, and Big Jim, my brother, and I were leaving town the next day anyway. And where we were heading, to my parents' house 60 miles north, deer-hunting territory, we would fit right in. If only it came with a gun rack! But back to the Peugeot....my main beef, as I have stated before, has been that our car is an English model, ie, right-hand drive, which Big Jim bought without consulting me before I arrived in Spain. In Spain, people also drive on the right side, so it's a bit awkward. Big Jim loves to remind me that the right-hand drive car offers many advantages when driving down the mountain, specifically, you can see much better how close you are to the edge of the road. I find no comfort in this because on the other side of the edge is often a hundred foot drop or more. The car didn't earn any brownie points with me either the first year, when it seemed it was in the shop more than out. It had some mysterious water pump issue that the guys at the local garage couldn't pinpoint....I thought I was going to have to call Click and Clack on NPR but dreaded doing so because of their disdain for all Peugeots. Eventually the problems seemed to work themselves out....I think the poor thing had to adjust to its new climate, just like the rest of us. I had driven the car a few times, but always with Big Jim in the passenger seat. Now with Big Jim in Amsterdam most of the time, the Peugeot represents my freedom, my escape from the village when it feels like the mountains are closing in. So yesterday, I took my first solo trip down to the coast for a little shopping excursion at Eroski and Lidl. And I must admit, the car is a good little car. She handles really well, is easy to shift, has good power, etc. I made it down the mountain in a very respectable 25 minutes (Big Jim's record is just over 20 minutes, and that was at 5:30 am with no traffic) and back up in 30, and more than half the journey up was behind a lorry, which I passed on the other side of Sayalonga. I had never passed anyone on the mountain road, and it can be tricky because there are only a few places to safely do so. But one of the straight bits was clear, so I went for it, and it was fine. Driving down is more fun....you can pretty much freewheel all the way down. Coming up requires a bit more effort, but because I'm left handed, I find shifting easier than in a standard left-side drive car. I even got cocky and drove down Calle San Antonio to unload my groceries. c/ San Antonio would probably not classify as a street most places because it is so narrow, but I made it through just fine. One scrape at the narrowest bit, but that's normal for here...mostly caught the left wing mirror. So the Peugeot and I are now friends. I'm trying to come up with a name for her; I think that will strengthen our bond. Our next trip together will be Friday, when we go to pick up Big Jim from the airport....only 2 more days until B.J.'s first visit back. Very happy about that. :-) hasta manana, mylifeinspain

moving on

In one of the episodes of the Sopranos I watched last night, the character Furio returned to Italy for his father's funeral. After, when he came back to New Jersey, he commented on how strange it was to be in Naples, the city where he had lived almost all of his life. He strangely found himself an outsider....friends and family had moved on with their lives. He also lamented that as an immigrant, he was an outsider in the United States and always would be. It was interesting for me to hear this because it is a sentiment I have felt many times, and it has been one of the most difficult for me to accept. The last time I was in the US, I was sitting in Logan airport awaiting my flight to Philadelphia when the woman next to me began speaking to me. At first, she didn't realize I was American, I suppose because of my mixed-up US/British accent. When I drive the highways near the town where I grew up I get lost because so many new roads have been added, my landmarks torn down and replaced with new shopping malls. Walking the streets of Philadelphia, the city no longer feels like my home. New restaurants, stores, coffee shops....I am now just a visitor. I stop in at all my old regular spots, but most of the new casts of characters I no longer recognize. The world has moved on. And as exciting as a "new life" elsewhere can be, I believe we all mourn bits of the lives we left behind, the relationships that are forever changed....some are strengthened, whereas some drift apart. Even the external triggers that remind us that life continues have been replaced. For me, there is no longer the first blast of cold fresh autumn air, no crunching through the yellow and crimson fallen leaves, no more geese heading south for the winter. I now look forward to olive wood burning in the fire and the return of green to the mountainside with the fall rain. In the end, for many complicated reasons, Furio returned to Italy. I don't see a similar homecoming anywhere in my near future; my new life and new family have begun to grow stronger roots on this side of the Atlantic. I knew when I first met Big Jim that our lives would be more complicated than most....that I would always find myself missing someone and someplace, and that one of us would always be an outsider wherever we chose to make a home. And although we too move on, we never forget we would never be here had it not been for that which we have left behind. hasta pronto, mylifeinspain

happy friday

Wow this week has flown by....again. I can't believe Big Jim will be back for a visit next weekend already. If all of our time apart passes this quickly, we are lucky indeed. I'm getting caught up with my work after this week's computer meltdown. Our friend G. is bringing my new notebook (must get in the habit of calling it this now as "laptop" makes me sound not hip to the new lingo) to Amsterdam this weekend. We've purchased a basic model, but G., who is the ultimate in computer geek, has added lots of bells and whistles to make it what he calls "a beautiful system". I suppose this purchase has forced me to confront my fears of spending money again. :-) Not good news on the overseas voting saga. There was another story in the New York Times this week detailing the myriad problems. Many states don't believe they have the resources to send out all the ballot requests before the deadline. (I believe only Florida will count ballots that are received after election day.) Several expats were quoted as having found the system so complicated they just gave up. Others have tried countless times to contact the information lines to no avail. If my ballot doesn't turn up next week, I'll have to start making calls. On a positive note, I am now able to access the fvap web site, so the ban to Telefonica has been lifted. Otherwise, our little village continues to enjoy good weather. The farmers have a little break before the next harvest....the olives and then the avocados. This morning while on the goat track with the pups, I spotted a beautiful hawk circling in the valley. I watched him for awhile and then looked away to see what the dogs were up. When I turned my gaze back to the sky, he was gone. My DVD purchase arrived yesterday, Season 4 of the Sopranos. I was up way too late last night and will not confess how many episodes I watched. I can't help it though; I just get sucked in and want to know what happens next. Big Jim and I were the same with "Freaks and Geeks"....I think we watched all 18 episodes in a week. One would finish, and Big Jim and I would look at each other and say, "One more?". Such great characters, such great stories. Must be off. I have a bit of more work to do, and then I must begin dinner preparations. I am having M.A. and L. over for dinner this evening. Besides that, I plan to have another quiet, puttering-filled weekend. I have a phone date with my good friend J.A.R. tomorrow and I also want to read the transcript from last night's debate. (Big Jim and I don't have "tv" per se....our set is just used for watching DVDs, so no CNN or Fox News, which yes, believe it or not comes with the local cable here.) Hasta pronto, mylifeinspain