10 (legal and fairly nondestructive) things to do when the world is mean and unfair

1. have a cup of tea. just regular tea with lots of milk.
2. eat only comfort foods. i'm not advocating overeating here, but there are certain foods that satisfy more when one is blue. i'm thinking mac & cheese, soup & grilled cheese sandwiches, mashed potatoes. "soft" food is best because it requires minimal chewing effort; you must conserve energy because most is being spent being blue. childhood favorites are excellent choices, Oreo cookies, Campbell's soup, tuna melts. forget about low-carb for the moment. carbs are now your friend.
3. call your best friend(s). spend hours on the phone as your friend empathizes and reminds you how great you are even though you know it's not true.
4. reread your favorite novel. those with characters whose lives are even more pathetic than your own are good choices.
5. immerse yourself in your favorite hobby (assuming of course this is a legal activity or does not involve getting completely shitfaced at the local bar). mine is reading old cookbooks, which also is very useful for finding ideas for #2. chances are you won't come across the recipe for the hot crab dip with ketchup smeared all over the top that your grandmother used to make in Gourmet magazine.
6. rent a movie, but choose one you've already seen. surprise endings are not your friend. outlandish comedies are good choices (think Chevy Chase), as are the classic tearjerkers should you need inspiration to get the wells going. in the past when going through man issues, i used to always reach for Helen Mirren in the "Prime Suspect" series.
7. write a letter to someone who has really pissed you off and you haven't forgiven. could be old boss, bad boy/girlfriend, 10th grade math teacher. tell them precisely what you think of them, and then destroy the letter, possibly using technique in #8.
8. the "burn and flush". a very good friend of mine taught me this cathartic technique years ago. in keeping with the "fairly nondestructive" theme, burn and flush does not work with highly flammable or explosive materials. collect various photographs, printouts of e-mails, letters, ticket stubs (you get the idea) directly or symbolically linked to the offending person or event that has sent you into this abyss; stand over the toilet armed with a cigarette lighter or a box of matches; set fire to the first object and when fully ablaze, drop into the toilet; flush; repeat.
9. avoid well-meaning people who try to lift your spirits but always manage to say the wrong thing, god bless 'em. same goes for the "inspirational" self-help books, videos, magazines, etc. these will just tell you to "foster gratitude" and remind you that adversity builds character. they may be useful later, but at this stage of the game, we know they're all bullshit. cynical, bitter---that's what we're going for.
10. except for when doing #1 through 9, stay in bed or set up camp on a comfy couch. wear your pajamas all day. if you have dogs, call a trusted friend to walk them for you. the outdoors should be off limits for the timebeing, at least until you muster enough energy to take a shower.

well that's my weekend sorted.

hasta pronto,

mylifeinspain