pulling strings

Was originally going title this entry "Visa Woes", but then I thought two "woes" in two days sounded pitiful. So I went with the more optimistic "Pulling Strings". I am by nature a fairly "by the book" sort of person. But the more I travel and the longer I live outside the U.S., I realize this way of thinking gets you nowhere fast in many situations. For example, Big Jim and I sat for 45 minutes at the Tangier port because I didn't want to hand over my passport to one of the slick, fake leather jacket-wearing unofficial "processors", who walked up and down the rows of cars shouting promises of a smooth and speedy entry if you chose them. After said 45 minutes without moving but an inch in line, I eventually lost my resolve and gave in, and we forked over the payola required for the return of our passports. It's a shitty "system", but regardless it is the system. So when Big Jim asked me to send him a scan of my passport so that our high-ranking friend in the Pakistan military (henceforth referred to as "the Colonel") could write a letter of reference to help grease the wheels at the Pakistan embassy in Madrid, which we plan to visit later next week to obtain my tourist visa for the October trip, my initial reaction was to balk. "I don't need any special reference letter. I can wait in line like everybody else," I said quite huffily. Big Jim got appropriately huffy back, "Suit yourself then!" And the matter was dropped. Until today, after I spoke with Mr. C. at the Madrid embassy. For old-time readers of the blog, you may remember Mr. C. He is the man who charged Big Jim three times the price we were originally quoted for his visa. Refer to this entry http://mylifeinspain.blogspot.com/2004/12/missing-consulate.html and the subsequent titled "more later..." for background info. Anyway, I called the embassy today to verify their hours (how'd you like this workday: they are open 9:30 to 11:30 am!) and the documents required for the tourist visa. Mr. C. tells me he needs a letter from my bank. Now I had already checked the web site before calling, and nowhere does it say banking details are needed for a tourist visa. Plus, I knew Big Jim didn't have to take such a letter for his business visa. So I question Mr. C. about this, and then he asks me where I am from. I tell him I am a U.S. citizen. "Oh, madam. I cannot give you visa. You are not EU citizen. You must get your visa in the United States." So I then go to the Pakistan embassy web site in Washington, DC, and again it lists its only requirements for a tourist visa as the completed application form (which is quite short and basic), two passport photos, proof of my travel dates (i.e., printout of my e-ticket), and $120 USPS money order to cover the costs. I decide to give them a call. I speak to a very helpful man, who tells me he has no idea why Mr. C. won't issue my visa. Normally he issues the visas through the mail, but because I am out of the country, he informs me it is now illegal to send your passport across international borders (who knew!). He advises me to call Mr. C. back and tell him I spoke with the embassy in the U.S., and that Mr. C. should send him a letter stating why he refuses to issue my visa. I of course cannot do so today because the office is Madrid is now closed, and I am also beginning to feel as though I am about to start up some sort of international incident! My next action is to Skype Big Jim and get him caught up to speed. I e-mail him all the details of who I spoke to and their contact info, so that he can pass along to the Colonel first thing tomorrow morning. I hate to have to resort to pulling strings, but unless my friend in the Washington embassy can get Mr. C. to bend his apparently self-written set of rules, the Colonel may be my only hope of not having to make a mad-dash visit to the U.S. in September to sort this out in person. Is it me, or is this just lunacy? And why is it that so many of the folks who work in these offices have such a sense of self-importance? Mr. C. is not the first sort of person like this I have run into embassy offices. The folks at the Spanish consulate in New York are notoriously unhelpful and unfriendly. They never, ever answer the telephone, nor do they ever return messages whether you leave them in English or Spanish. One time I went there, the main building entrance was under construction, and I consequently spent twenty minutes trying to find the loading dock, which apparently was the only way into the place. I sat there with my forms for two hours before I finally asked a woman how much longer my wait would be. She informed me that because I arrived at 12:05 pm, not before my 12:00 appointment, she would not be able to process my paperwork until the following day. My pleas and explanations for tardiness were dismissed with a curt "manana" and shoulder shrug. So let's hope the Colonel can work his magic. He helped Big Jim get the appropriate paperwork for his visit to Kashmir, so how much trouble can a simple old tourist visa be? I just want to go and have some nice curry and buy some wool shawls and blankets and visit some of the ancient Buddhist sites in Taxila and meet all the lovely people Big Jim keeps talking about. Seriously, Mr. C., I will be no trouble. So if you can get off your little power trip for two minutes and sign off on my paperwork, I would be most grateful. Thanks! Will keep you posted.... hasta pronto, mylifeinspain