too much almendena

The weather has been strange here all summer, and today is no exception. We have sun and a clear blue sky as expected, but it is windy, flower pot-tossing, curtain-flapping windy. As I walked the dogs to the goat track this morning, it became quickly apparent that my wardrobe choice was a mistake; my currently fashionable, multitiered cotton knee-length skirt was the perfect windcatcher, and I had to gather it up at the sides to keep it from sailing over my head. This is no easy feat as one also tries to guide 85 pounds of dog down the street. Fortunately there were few farmers at work along the goat track. The last thing I needed was to do a Marilyn Monroe in front of these already-randy old men. I hurried the dogs back home along the lesser-traveled path, and found Almendena and the Herb Thief chatting outside my front door. I told them I had to go change my skirt, that there was just too much wind for me to easily walk down the street. They chuckled, and then Almendena asked me whether I would like some grapes. I said, sure, of course. She ducked inside her front door and came out with three large bunches for me. Muchas gracias, muchas gracias, I replied. Then she tells me that I should not worry about flashing my underpants to the village. When she was picking grapes out in the campo all weekend, because of the heat, she stripped down to just her bragas and sujetador. For reasons I cannot fathom (perhaps to make sure I understood?), she lifted her skirt to reveal a giant pair of panties and then her knit shirt to display a more than generous bosom befitting a middle-aged woman who had birthed five children. Almendena and the Herb Thief fell into a fit of giggles like little girls; in surprise/shock, I lost my hold on one of the bunches of grapes. What does one do, say when your neighbor voluntarily flashes you their underwear? I thanked her again for the grapes and herded the pups through the front door. When it was securely closed behind me, I threw up my hands and whispered "Dios mio"! And then for the first time in a week, I laughed. hasta manana, mylifeinspain