vinegar

I have been in a bit of a funk this week, which is why there hasn't been an entry for a couple days (and I continue to be behind on my e-mail, friends). When my mood is particularly vinergar-y, I shift my writing to my unpublished journal in attempt not to foul everyone else's day. This week I have felt very much like the village smells at the moment: like fermenting grapes. There have been two things making me angry, one specific and the other more general. First, my friend M. sent me a link to an article published in the International Herald Tribune http://www.iht.com/articles/539597.html. It seems the US Department of Defense has blocked Internet service providers in more than 25 countries from accessing the Federal Voting Assistance Program's web site, including my ISP Telefonica, as well as Wanadoo in France, BT Yahoo Broadband in the UK, and Yahoo Broadband in Japan. Their reason for doing so: to protect it from hackers in the weeks leading up to the November election. Now one does not use this site to vote; it simply provides information on how to vote and a form to apply for an absentee ballot, and if my memory serves me well (it's been several weeks since I could last access the site), there are many scary warnings about the penalties incurred by those who commit voter fraud. I don't believe for one second that the Pentagon is seriously worried about hackers, and if the DofD can't protect one measly web site, what good are they? In elections that are now decided by fewer than 600 votes, I believe the adminstration doesn't like to think about the 7 million expats voters, particularly those of us living in places like Spain, France, and even the UK, where support for the US is seriously waning. I don't know whether this story has been covered in the US much at all. I noticed it was on the Yahoo front page for a whole twenty minutes Tuesday, and then quickly replaced by an article about Martha Stewart reporting to jail before October 8. For expats still needing a ballot request form, see the links below for other web sites that provide them. The second thing getting under my skin will not pass quickly methinks. M.A. and I had dinner Tuesday night, and we were discussing Big Jim's new job, etc., etc. I think I have some sort of posttraumatic shock syndrome as a result of our experience with long-term joblessness. I recently told another friend that I knew Big Jim and I had been very affected and most likely forever changed by the past three years. I think about how the Depression altered my grandfather for the rest of his life; every styrofoam packing tray and egg carton that Big Jim saved to use for his rooftop garden reminded me of the piles of these my grandfather also kept. I said to M.A. the other night, I'm not sure when if ever I will feel comfortable spending money again except for essential sorts of things. Even though Big Jim's job is a "permanent" position, I no longer feel any security about the permanent state of anything. I am also angry about how salaries have been cut. Big Jim and I are eternally grateful that he is working again; however, I can't help but question the state of affairs that makes us readily accept a position that pays only 50% of what Big Jim made three years ago. When I am feeling more comfortable with our finances, I plan to drop one of my clients. At the beginning of this year, this client dramatically cut its freelance rates. The spin was that they were keeping the rate the same; however, they redefined what constituted a "page", which is how they pay contractors. In the end, their new policy resulted in 35% less in my pocket. Therefore, I am angry and I need to come up with some constructive ways to deal with my anger. I typically am a fairly happy sort, so this bad taste in my mouth is strange for me. I know that the experience Big Jim and I have had is still being played out in too many households in the US, Europe, all over the world. But I also see too many people who haven't been personally touched by the perilous economy turn a blind eye, in an almost "blame the victim" mentality.....those who tell themselves this could never happen to them, those who look in the classified section and see jobs listed and immediately deduce there is no problem, those who convince themselves the long-term unemployed are just lazy buggers. Like the grapes I will eventually pass through the vinegar-smelling stage and a much more pleasant one will emerge. I seriously doubt I will take on the sickening sweet characterics of the local dessert wine, but I am aiming for a more full-bodied tangy rioja. :-) hasta pronto, mylifeinspain P.S. Check out this article my friend B. sent me yesterday: http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/living/people/women/9725497.htm?1c. It seems my thoughts on the Mediterranean diet were on target. I sense a revival.