rant #1: i hate telefonica

There are many reasons why I hate Telefonica (which for those who don’t know is the principal telecom company in Spain), but the most recent reason is that we currently do not have a phone line and therefore no Internet connection. Yesterday afternoon, at about 3 pm, the Internet connection went dead mid-e-mail. I didn’t think much of it because from time to time this happens for five minutes or so. But after half an hour, it still wasn’t working, so I checked and reset the DSL box, checked the phone cables, and everything seemed in order. Big Jim was on his way to pick up T. at the airport, but he had planned to buy a few things at Lidl, so I thought I’d give him a call to get his advice. When I tried to put in the numbers, though, I found there was no dial tone, just an odd beeping noise. Bugger. I went back to editing, but was preoccupied because I need the Internet most importantly for work. My clients are in the US, and e-mail is our primary communication vehicle. Additionally, I need to do a lot of fact checking for the articles I edit, and the Internet is my main research tool. And of course I have a deadline Friday (today), which means without an Internet connection, my access to the company’s FTP site is cut off. About 10 minutes later, I hear Big Jim opening the front door, “It’s only me….When I changed my shorts (which he did just before leaving for the airport), I left my wallet in the other pair. Or at least I hope that’s what I did.” Very auspicious beginning to T.’s visit. “We have no phone line,” I yell from the office upstairs. Fortunately, Big Jim’s missing wallet was a short-lived mystery, and it was indeed in his other pair of shorts. The phone line was going to prove to be more problematic. Big Jim agreed he would call Telefonica’s [no]help line to report the problem as soon as he got to the airport.  I went back to work, still distracted. About an hour and a half later, the phone rings. “Yay!” I think, “the phone’s back on.” It was Big Jim. “I’ve just spoken to Telefonica, and they have cut off the phone because they say we haven’t paid the bill.” But we had paid the bill Tuesday, admittedly 1 day after the due date, simply because I forgot in the midst of my crazy work schedule. It’s always due the 19th of the month, but honestly July has flown by so quickly, I lost track of the date. Monday night I realized I had forgotten, so Big Jim went to the bank the next day and paid it. This is a common practice here, paying bills directly at the bank, and one until now, I quite approved of. No hour spent every month writing checks, buying stamps, etc. Big Jim asked that I call them back with the receipt for the payment. I schlep out to the main square in the village, where our one pay phone is located, and call 1004, the customer service line. The only good thing I can say about Telefonica is they do have a service line in English, which is extremely helpful when you’re pissed off and can’t think clearly to do subjunctive verb conjugations. The sun was shining directly on the plaza, and the phone booth was like an oven, sweat running down my back and face. “Yes, can I help you?” “I hope so,” and begin to provide the appropriate details. According to this woman, the bank has not indicated to Telefonica that the bill has been paid. Of course, they haven’t; they’re off busy with feria preparations. Who cares about processing paperwork when there is a holiday to celebrate?! I get a sinking feeling that the bank has closed until next Tuesday, after the feria ends. I explain this dilemma to the service representative. Her voice provides no sympathy. She tells me they will not reconnect the line until they receive notice from the bank that the bill has been paid, and then it will be 24 to 48 hours until our service is fully restored. I tell her this is unacceptable, etc., etc.; she replies, “Well you should have an account with Banesto, our preferred bank. Then your payment would be applied immediately.” I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a Banesto bank. They are probably all over Spain, but not in our village or any of the villages around us. I tell her I think it’s unreasonable to cut people’s service off for a payment that is, according to them, 2-and-a-half days late (in actuality, 1 day late). Perhaps we Americans are spoiled, but I believe most utility companies there have a grace period of a week or so before service is discontinued. “You should have received a letter advising you that line would be disconnected,” she adds. Impossible, I think to myself. There’s no way they would have sent a letter already….we’ll probably receive it two weeks from now. I throw in the towel. I’m too hot to argue. I decide to pop by the bank to see whether they are open during the feria. There is a sign posted: they will be open but with limited hours. So in about an hour, I’m going to gather all our receipts for the past two years and take them to the bank teller and let her sort it out. Even if she does convince Telefonica that the bill has been paid, with the weekend, they won’t do a thing about restoring the line until next week. Therefore, we reckon we’ll be without the phone and Internet until Wednesday or so. As far as my work goes, I can use our friend C.’s computer to send the files today (and post this entry), but I won’t be able to return all of them because he’s going out later in the day (it is the feria, don’t forget); the rest will have to wait until Monday. This could not have happened at a worse time; I can’t even use the Internet café in the village because it has closed for the weekend. :Deep sigh:  Snafus like this do discourage me, I must admit. After a couple years of one disappointment after another, I’m a bit worn down. Intellectually, I realize this problem is a short-term inconvenience at most, and in the big scheme of things, a very trivial matter. My ability to rationalize has become a bit skewed. When we had the huge hassle with Telefonica to have a phone line put into the house before we moved in, I spoke with our friend Miguel, who works at one of the cafes in the village. He nodded in empathy, but replied, “Ah, you have only had to struggle with Telefonica for two years; we have had to struggle with them for all of our lives.” Point taken. Telefonica has never been known to be a customer-friendly company. They were recently fined 73 million euros for what I believe was misleading advertising as they attempted to continue to monopolize the telecom market here. I am sure there will be some sort of rate hike in the near future to cover these losses. In the mean time, I probably won’t be posting until next week. I need to pull myself out of this funk while T. is here. It would be most unfair to him to mope around, feeling sorry for myself during his visit, especially because he brought me a huge pile of magazines from Frankfurt: two copies of the New Yorker and the Nation, an Atlantic Monthly, and for my nonintellectual side, a Vanity Fair and two issues of the very trashy National Enquirer, so I can spend the weekend reading up on Christina Aguilera’s love child and the like. Oh dear…the first cohetes (rockets) have gone off (it’s not even 8 am), signaling the start of the feria for today. In my distress over the phone, I had forgotten about this. The pups are very unhappy and have just run under my desk to hide. I think they will have a short walk this morning. Must be off, but I do have a question for Spanish readers: do you use Telefonica or do you have phone service with another provider? How do the others’ rates and service compare? You can reply using the comments feature below. Thanks! In the meantime, I will adopt a more Spanish response to the phone issue. When I begin to get angry, I will stop, shrug my shoulders, and remind myself, “Asi es la vida.” hasta pronto (I hope), mylifeinspain     p.s. The funniest thing has just happened. After I finished writing my rant, I went to have a shower. Just as I had lathered my hair with shampoo, more rockets went off. Two seconds later, the dogs barged into the bathroom, seeking my console. The next thing I know, Precious Boo is standing next to me in the shower; I look to my right to see Mr. Beebs crawling in the other side of the tub, so frightened. I laughed hysterically at the absurdity of this picture. They stood on either side of me, waiting patiently until I conditioned my hair as well. Sometimes we need little reminders of what’s important in life. When battling big corporations like Telefonica, one can be made to feel most insignificant and powerless and small. These two dogs just reminded me that is not the case. :-) p.p.s. Just returned from the bank. The man there was very helpful and apologetic. He called Telefonica straightaway. It’s possible our line will be reactivated later today, but most likely Monday. I can live with that. Additionally, I found out the official Telefonica policy: they discontinue service if bills are not paid within 48 hours of the due date. Ours had been, but there was the delay at the bank transferring the data. Lesson learned: be sure to pay phone bill several days in advance of due date; the Telefonica records still showed our bill as unpaid three days later. Also, a pat on my back for handling entire transaction at the bank in Spanish. The staff there is multilingual, and many expats take the easy route and speak in their native language. I refuse to do that unless it’s a life or death situation. One final note: My entire experience here has given me such a respect for immigrants who come to America. How daunting our systems must be, and they vary from state to state, etc. How many banks in small-town USA have multilingual staff to assist foreigners? We are fortunate that Spain has been so accommodating. Sure, the country benefited from our presence, but I believe the Spanish have been particularly helpful. I will never like Telefonica though. :-)